Beer Hunter - Ultra Cotton Tee
They laughed when I said I was gonna hunt Beer.
Called me a drunk. A fool. Said I was wastin’ my life.
Hunting Beer is tricky.
It’s sly.
Doesn’t leave tracks—just bottle caps and half-remembered nights.
Sometimes you catch a glimpse: cooler lid cracked open, a can nestled in the ice like prey in a thicket.
But you can’t lunge.
Beer’ll slip through your fingers and down someone else’s throat if you’re not careful.
I’ve spent years tracking it.
Honed my instincts.
Survived more than one deerly departed, brew-tal, 24-point hangover—the kind that shames your soul and leaves antler marks on your liver.
I can hear the hiss of a fresh can from two counties away.
People ask me why.
Why I gave up everything—my job, my trailer, my third wife—for this.
But they’ve never cracked a cold one under a full moon.
Never stared down a party keg in the backwoods and lived to tell the tale.
I don’t hunt Beer for the glory.
I hunt it because someone has to.
Because when the coolers run dry and the campfire burns low...
The Beer Hunter rises from the shadows—
and brings the buzz.
Product features
- Without side seams for a sleek look and reduced waste.
- Ribbed knit collar maintains shape and adds elasticity.
- Shoulder tape provides stability and prevents stretching.
- Bigger fit offers extra comfort for everyday wear.
- Ethically sourced cotton guarantees long-lasting quality.
Beer Hunter: A bear skull crowned with deer antlers—because bear + deer = beer.
Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
- Do not tumble dry
- Do not iron
- Do not dryclean
| S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | 4XL | 5XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, in | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 | 32.00 |
| Length, in | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 | 34.00 | 35.00 |
| Sleeve length from center back, in | 15.62 | 17.37 | 18.75 | 20.00 | 21.50 | 22.87 | 24.25 | 25.50 |
They laughed when I said I was gonna hunt Beer.
Called me a drunk. A fool. Said I was wastin’ my life.
Hunting Beer is tricky.
It’s sly.
Doesn’t leave tracks—just bottle caps and half-remembered nights.
Sometimes you catch a glimpse: cooler lid cracked open, a can nestled in the ice like prey in a thicket.
But you can’t lunge.
Beer’ll slip through your fingers and down someone else’s throat if you’re not careful.
I’ve spent years tracking it.
Honed my instincts.
Survived more than one deerly departed, brew-tal, 24-point hangover—the kind that shames your soul and leaves antler marks on your liver.
I can hear the hiss of a fresh can from two counties away.
People ask me why.
Why I gave up everything—my job, my trailer, my third wife—for this.
But they’ve never cracked a cold one under a full moon.
Never stared down a party keg in the backwoods and lived to tell the tale.
I don’t hunt Beer for the glory.
I hunt it because someone has to.
Because when the coolers run dry and the campfire burns low...
The Beer Hunter rises from the shadows—
and brings the buzz.
Product features
- Without side seams for a sleek look and reduced waste.
- Ribbed knit collar maintains shape and adds elasticity.
- Shoulder tape provides stability and prevents stretching.
- Bigger fit offers extra comfort for everyday wear.
- Ethically sourced cotton guarantees long-lasting quality.
Beer Hunter: A bear skull crowned with deer antlers—because bear + deer = beer.
Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
- Do not tumble dry
- Do not iron
- Do not dryclean
| S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | 4XL | 5XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, in | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 | 32.00 |
| Length, in | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 | 34.00 | 35.00 |
| Sleeve length from center back, in | 15.62 | 17.37 | 18.75 | 20.00 | 21.50 | 22.87 | 24.25 | 25.50 |
They laughed when I said I was gonna hunt Beer.
Called me a drunk. A fool. Said I was wastin’ my life.
Hunting Beer is tricky.
It’s sly.
Doesn’t leave tracks—just bottle caps and half-remembered nights.
Sometimes you catch a glimpse: cooler lid cracked open, a can nestled in the ice like prey in a thicket.
But you can’t lunge.
Beer’ll slip through your fingers and down someone else’s throat if you’re not careful.
I’ve spent years tracking it.
Honed my instincts.
Survived more than one deerly departed, brew-tal, 24-point hangover—the kind that shames your soul and leaves antler marks on your liver.
I can hear the hiss of a fresh can from two counties away.
People ask me why.
Why I gave up everything—my job, my trailer, my third wife—for this.
But they’ve never cracked a cold one under a full moon.
Never stared down a party keg in the backwoods and lived to tell the tale.
I don’t hunt Beer for the glory.
I hunt it because someone has to.
Because when the coolers run dry and the campfire burns low...
The Beer Hunter rises from the shadows—
and brings the buzz.
Product features
- Without side seams for a sleek look and reduced waste.
- Ribbed knit collar maintains shape and adds elasticity.
- Shoulder tape provides stability and prevents stretching.
- Bigger fit offers extra comfort for everyday wear.
- Ethically sourced cotton guarantees long-lasting quality.
Beer Hunter: A bear skull crowned with deer antlers—because bear + deer = beer.
Care instructions
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
- Do not tumble dry
- Do not iron
- Do not dryclean
| S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | 4XL | 5XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, in | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 | 32.00 |
| Length, in | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 | 34.00 | 35.00 |
| Sleeve length from center back, in | 15.62 | 17.37 | 18.75 | 20.00 | 21.50 | 22.87 | 24.25 | 25.50 |